As the U.S. finally slaps long-threatened tariffs on Canada, a population unaccustomed to conflict wonders: what does President Donald Trump have against us, anyway?

Theories abound, from the plausible (It’s about the lack of U.S. access to the Canadian dairy market), to the personal (Trump really, really doesn’t like Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau), to the neo-colonial (the U.S. wants to annex us) to the perverse. (Could it have been that 2019 photographic faux pas, when Trudeau looked like he wanted to smooch the First Lady, Melania?)

Trump has given his own reasons — lax border security and fentanyl, but sometimes impeded access to banking or and incorrectly quoted trade imbalance — but those reasons have either been disproven or dismissed. He frequently goads Canada and “Governor Trudeau” from his Truth Social account, claiming Canadians want to become the 51st state and arguing that economically, it might be better for us anyway.